The last 10 months of my life have been some of the hardest moments I've ever experienced. I've been his caregiver since he was diagnoses with stage 3 Multiple Myeloma(Blood cancer) last June. This is all over the course of 10 months and I was there doing my damndest alongside my family to try to help him fight this insidious disease:
He had 22 Trips to the emergency room(My father had no immune system and 12 of these were for low grade fevers).
He was confined at a 3 week stay in a hospital 200 miles away from home after he almost died of cancer last year(this hospital also caused him some PTSD due to being stranded there and on heavy drugs)
He had 4 air chopper rides to this hospital.
He 2 heart attacks that required 3 stents put in.
He had maybe 20 -22 blood transfusions.
He had Covid-19, then Pneumonia, then Bronchitis and finally C-diff over the course of the last 4 months alone.
At 6 am this morning my father finally died in my mothers arms, surrounded by his pets and with all of us in the home hoping he could exit as peacefully as possible while still wishing for some kind of miraculous recovery so he could be in our lives longer.
He was taken from his home draped in an American flag. It's a hell of a thing not just losing your father, but helplessly watching him wither away while he's still young. Feels like the center of my life is gone, even at 42.
Rest in peace Dad. You deserved more time that you were given and we'll always love you.
6/25/58-4/17/23
Stanpai
Losing your father is never easy, especially if you share a great relationship.
My father also suffered from chronic illnesses and complications from military service that compounded them. Being able to pass in your own home with your loved ones is better than most people get the chance to experience. While it is no substitute for just one more day with him, you and your family are in my thoughts. No one will ever understand the psychological burden and strain of watching something like this happen over a stretch of time and never knowing when the end is coming, but knowing it is on the way. Not until they experience it. I'm sorry that you had to share in that life experience, but I pray you find comfort in knowing you were there for him when it mattered. May he rest in peace.